Friday, March 31, 2006
12:03 AM

im soooo annoyed... i'm so sleeepie yet i cant sleep.. went to try and take a nap just now.. but i just couldnt fall asleeep...UH!!
ok anyway...
ive been thinking a lot lately... but then again.. when do i ever not think a lot right? hmmm... i guess it has it's pros and cons... i tend to read into things too much.. like i always assume.. and i tend to always assume the worst.. i dont know why.. but i guess it's the thought that if i assume the worst, and if it reallydoes happen... i wont feel that bad cos i wouldve expected it... i really should change the way i think....
ive been thinking.. if i do meet someone here, specifically my future husband, well then that'll be great.. but then i thought somemore and came up with a scenario... let's say he wants to stay here a bit longer, but it's already my last year here.. then what should i do? been praying bout it... i mean, love is such a powerful thing... love is something that no one can really comprehend... i mean, it was love that brought Jesus to the cross right... love is capable of doing so many things... love can last forever... love can bypass time and continents, race and culture.... with God as the primary foundation is a relationship.. that relationship will work out... whether someone is physically present or not..
i was talking to my guardian the other day.. and i really cherish everything she says to me.. cos she's my spiritual mentor and i really trust her.... i was talking to her about love... and she said smthg that rung so true..she said sometimes in a marriage.... God will be the only one holding it together... because if it werent for God...and the commitment that the couple made to God on their wedding day, they could have given up if things just got so unbearable... God is the glue that holds on even when the rain comes down.... God is the glue that doesnt break even when tensions are high...
i know people always say i think too much even about relationships... but hey, it's a lifelong decision... something so big.. shouldnt we start thinking and praying about it? ... it's gonna be full of bliss and joy...it has its fair share of hurt and pain..but with God, the bliss and joy will far outweight everything the world has got to throw at the couple...
i want someone to talk to... to hear my heart and soul.. someone who can laugh with me and cry with me.. someone who doesnt try to solve my problems but faces the storm with me.. someone to watch my back and tell me that he'll always be there.. someone who will pray with me and the road seems so unclear... someone who will trust me and lemme hear him speak from the depths of his soul.. someone who will let me catch his tears and capture his smiles...
hmmmm......

"A son honoureth His father, and a servant His master: if then I be a Father, where is Mine honour? and if I be a Master, where is My fear? saith the Lord of hosts unto you."
Malachi 1:6

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