Thursday, October 05, 2006
4:08 AM

well, im just about to apply to do honours either in murdoch or in uwa...and whether i get it or not, is up to God... if He wants me to stay, He will open more doors... 1 door has already been opened... let me update those who have no idea what's going on....
before i came back to perth in july, my dad told me that he had talked to my mom...and they agreed that i should go back to singapore to work first after finishing my degree ... and after working for maybe 1 to 2 years, i'll come back and do my honours and then masters.... i was still deciding on that and so i prayed.. that if God wanted me to stay, He would help me to stay for the right reasons, but if He wanted me to go, then close all the doors... so once coming back here, a lot of things happened, and i was already so mentally prepared that i would be going back to singapore..and i was happy... get to see my family again.. and finally be able to celebrate their birthdays with them after 4 years of not being there... so i told everyone that i was going back so they wont be shocked when i eventually leave.... there were mixed responses from people, but regardless of what they said, i knew in my mind that i would be going back..and i was happy.. i told my dad that i will go back to singapore and work just as he suggested to me... and then he said.." sure ah? no regrets ok..." and i knew, nope i wont have any regrets cos wherever God takes me, i'm sure that He will provide and He has wonderful plans for my life... so i trusted in God that no matter where i am, God is still God.... He will not change....
but then a few weeks after i told my dad that....he spoke to me and said.."ailing, i want you to do your honours next year...and then maybe go on to work on your masters, if you want to.. go and talk to your professor and see what he says..." and the minute he said that, all theses emotions and thoughts flooded by entire being....cos i dont want my dad to struggle and spend so much money on me.... i hate to see my parents have to struggle...... and i also knew that besides my dad, the rest of my family would not understand why i would do stay on and do my honours.... so i prayed.. i just sat down before the Lord..and poured out my heart and soul to Him.... i just said.." Lord, you know i love my parents sooo much, and i dont want to see my parents struggle.. i was so prepared to go home and work, and im happy to do that if that is what You want me to do.. but why has the door suddenly swung open?.. if it isn't Your will, just close it.. because wherever You lead me to, i will follow.. but just give me the strength to do it, because the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak..." and then, that soft gentle whisper came and said.." Ai Ling, do you not know that i love your parents more than you love them? i never want to see them struggle.. and know this, that if i want you to stay, I will provide for you in every way.. financially, mentally, physically... I will provide.. just do what you have to do now, apply...and see if I open the door..."
and you know, i was looking through the marks requirement to be granted an honours project..and let's just say, im not gonna be one of those students that will be granted it immediately.... but as i sat here thinking about my marks... i remembered what God said to me.. that if He wants me to stay, nothing can get in the way... He will provide a way.... im just gonna do what is humanly possible to do... i've met up with a supervisor from princess margeret hospital..and im meeting up with another supervisor on wednesday to discuss honours possibility... and i truly believe that if He wants me to stay, He will make a way... no one, nothing, no grade requirement, no financial burdens can get in the way of God and His plan for me. No one can thwart God's plans. i'm just trusting Him in this and i will take that walk of faith.... wherever that walk may take me, i will go.. becos God will be walking with me.. hand in hand....
im so excited to see His plans unfold in my life.. whether it be here, in singapore or anywhere else.. i choose to trust Him, why? because there's no bettter way.... there's no one else to trust but God....so wherever i go, i pray that you my friends, and family will understand...and encourage me through this...
sure it's gonna be hard to leave either perth or singapore, but i would rather leave either one of those, than to leave God and walk my own way.....
Lord, i surrender this all into Your hands... just take control, i give you the wheel of my life, direct me wherever You want me to go.. because i belong to You, and no one else... You are my Lord, my King, my Provider, my Strength, my Joy, my Counsellor, my Shield, my Deliverer, my Shelter, my Very Present Help in Time of Need, my EVERYTHING.

"And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible."
Mark 10:27

i would now like to say an AMEN to that!!!! =)

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